“Haiyo baby, don't cry don't cry, I'll carry you. Your mummy's milk not enough, right? She don't know how to take care la! ", shared by a friend of mine, whom received a comment from a family member after she had delivered her second baby. Sadly, I know that she's not alone. Many mothers have to deal with such remarks, and this doesn't help when we are trying to cope the best we can for our babies and for ourselves.
Instead, we have to protect new moms! Alike a mosquito patch that wards off pesky mosquitoes, we are the “patch’ that reminds awareness , as well as protect mommies from the nasty bites of insensitive remarks and the deadly “postpartum depression’ bug!
Any individual can be fearful and anxious about changes or new environment. Kids feel that way about school, and men feel fear and anxiety from work life, family responsibilities that leads to depression (even men get depression from being a stay-at-home dad. Yes, you hear that right!). If any individual can be very much overwhelmed by new tasks/changes/projects, much more a new mom who faces mind-boggling task juggling while recovering physically from giving birth? THAT is a heck load.
In the joy of welcoming a new member to the family, the mother disappears into the shadows of her role. She tends to forget that she is integral to the entire process from conception to birth and neglect oneself. Result? POSTNATAL DEPLETION.
Postnatal Depletion? How does that happen?
Once the baby is born, huge amounts of oxytocin in both the mother and the baby, literally creates this love fest they call the “baby bubble.” This needs to be encouraged and respected, and caregivers and fathers need to be aware of the importance of this time post-birth, when the bond between mother and baby is established. While the mom was pregnant, part of the job of the placenta is to reprogram the mother. As though a “software upgrade,” her brain is being modified to acquire skills to become a mother- intuitively aware of her child’s needs (cold/ hungry/ crying). This hyper vigilance is obviously vital for the survival of the child but if she is unsupported, it leads to sleep problems, self doubt, insecurity, and feelings of unworthiness. Moreover, there is a perceived notion that the mother has to be “everything,” and as result many mothers suffer in silence and are not receiving education, information, or support. This type of depletion is directly linked to POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION and effects - energy levels, supply of breastmilk, ability to care for your newborn, patience, thought-pattern, decision-making and general ability to function on a daily basis.
You know how important a compassionate and supportive gesture is, and how it got you going! It is time for an awakening, to protect a mom from a society that can be insensitive and curt. And how better it is to start from the very core- family.
Allow a mom to feel like a woman in tune with herself and her baby, (than an exhausted person), to slow down and embrace changes, to be present in the moment, to snuggle with her newborn, to have the time that she will never get back.
All 3 of us sisters will be sharing stories from our different perspectives. The good, the bad and the ugly, we're telling it as it is.