While it was "TGIF!!!! WoooHooo!!!" for everyone else, mine is always a tricky business. And one particular Friday was waaaayyyy the other end of the TGIF spectrum. Her toys lay neglected. The little champ came home "drunk" on a basket of whines and a bottle full of crankiness.
Repeated attempts to have a decent conversation in a meeting was driving me up the wall! I was around 28 weeks, coupled with a heap load of squatting, carrying and bending over to her, I developed a huge discomfort in my abdominal area. You think its over. A walk to the car had her trip and scrap her knees. "OHHHH!! You've got to be freaking kidding me?!" I rolled my eyes in disbelief at how much worse things can get. As difficult as it was, I chose to breathe in real deep. I kissed her and talked to her through her whines and cries. I held in it like a bottle of champagne, shaken and about to burst open, foam spilling out. When she'd finally fallen asleep, I quickly retreated into my escape: A shower.
The gentle stimulation of hot water slowed down my breathing and heartbeat. My muscles less tense. The all superb finale, comforting and soothing? My "need-to pamper-for-sanity" bath capsules. I'm serious. The smell, fresh and absolutely divine. Lathering up the creamy bath wash, I was greeted by the aroma. It brought me memories of my trip to the Maldives a few years back, the familiar smell of a spa, the clear waters, the feeling of a relaxed vacation. THAT bath was my very short but oh-so-important private time! I'd emerged from the bathroom, a happy bird. A supermom with an imaginary cape! I walked with a bounce in my strides.
One who is familiar with psychology is aware that smell is highly emotive. Pleasant smells stimulates the olfactory system of the brain (connected to your sense of smell) which then sends a signal to the limbic system (one that controls emotions and recalls memories), releasing chemicals in the brain that can relax, calm or stimulate you.
I'm soooooo glad I had that short yet lovely ‘retreat’! Happy mama, happy family.
Oh, and mommies, should you be tempted to join me and indulge, this giftbox is DEFINITELY it. It's every lovely thing combined! Nurture self, nurture baby.
No need to run helter-skelter! With the help of some mommies and daddies, we've compiled a list that'll help dads along this journey!
Daddies- every woman is different, so don't assume it will be the same for your partner- ask her what will be helpful to her.
Mommies- be open to share of how you'll like/prefer the daddies to help around.
Remember, this partnership works best with love and communication! Expectations and assumptions may only end in resentment.
'BUT I'M OUT WORKING ALL DAY!' Now now, calm down. Every parent is working. While one goes out during the day, the other who stays at home with the baby is also working a day job. Looking after a baby 24/7 can be crazy demanding and it can leave mommy feeling messed up and isolated. When both parents are home, taking care of the baby is a shared job. Moreover, during the early days of sleep deprivation and intensive caring, your help is BIG. If mommy is well rested and healthy, she'll be in the better frame of health and mind to take better of your baby. A WIN-WIN! So take heart!
EENIE-MEENIE-MY-NEE-MO! IM A GREAT DADDY, LET ME SHOW!
Take your pick! Here's some ideas to choose from, it ain't a list or a demand. Key point to remember: don't underestimate her need for support.
And, lads, your partner’s need for support does not magically end at the full moon celebration or four months after. Keep this list in hand if you need to ( secret or not), ask, refer or repeat!
Mommies, if you’ll like to, you can be specific with the help you need and have your man refer to the checklist above that you've chosen. SPEAK YOUR MIND.
Peeps, be flexible, tweak along the way and as long as the both of you are open with communication, your relationship and parenthood just keeps getting better!
All 3 of us sisters will be sharing stories from our different perspectives. The good, the bad and the ugly, we're telling it as it is.