Pressure bands. To begin with, I was totally clueless about pressure bands in general. This is another alternative and a tip to share with all you lovelies:) You may ask,” What band is that? Does it really work?” Months ago, I was having a work dinner with some doctors and I shared how I was feeling during my first trimester. Just imagine having to attend a fine dining dinner with slight nausea. Even people noticed I had a ‘gonna throw up face’ when I was eating. So I told the doctor I heard of pressure bands sold at drug stores and I wanted to try it out! I really did not want to take medications every day since mine was not so severe. She said yes she does recommend it to her patients to try. Whether it relieves the nausea or make one feels slightly better, why not!
Here is what I have found, “The pressure band harness the natural effect of acupressure and continue to provide effective relief today, by applying continuous pressure on the P6 (or Nei-Kuan) point on each wrist using a plastic stud.” There’s also a research conducted where by women wearing the pressure bands also reported less anxiety, depression and hostility. Especially for those who are travelling when pregnant, these bands are surely a must! These pressure bands also help to relieve motion sickness! It works the same way. Last November, I was on a road trip vacation in South New Zealand with my family. To make the road trip a more relaxing one, I chose to wear these bands everyday.
Since it is a non-invasive method, give it a try! They are safe and do not have any interactions or contraindications. I prefer this natural method which did not involve medications. As shown in the pictures below, you simply wear the bands three fingers below your palm on each hand. To all my mommies-to-be experiencing nausea, I hope the pressure bands will help you as much as it did for me! :)
The little champ is having her nap. Oh how alluring the soft bed is! I was close to succumbing to passing out completely on the bed, but I peeeeeeled myself off it to engage in a movie with the husband. The movie started screening, the coke sizzling and the nacho cheese was piping hot. With a smile as wide as a Cheshire Cat, I sinked my teeth into the yummy crunchy chips when…. softly but surely, you hear it in the background : "mama... maammaaaaa! Why am I aloneeeeee?"
I looked over to my husband and our eyes screamed, " NOOOOooo!!!!!"
You know how it feels to be interrupted just because the "little grizzly bear" has woken? Hence, I vote enthusiastically for dates! No worries about the child, I can immense myself in a movie, a good relaxing brunch without fretting or just beer&chips talk at home. You'll think I'll happily tear myself away from the little champ? It ain't that easy and I believe many mommies would know the feeling!
This struggle is especially hard if both the little champ and I had a tough episode or after a few days of little hours together. It's as if I'll want to make up for it by spending time with her. Guilt may start creeping in when I'm with my hubby alone, tugging at my heart strings, but I'd mindfully push it away.
The husband and I have recognized that with a child, couple time between husband and wife is tougher to obtain and it takes effort. Spontaneity with "last min dates" has made us very adaptable to changes in situations or time tables. Key word: FLEXIBILITY! With help and support from family to babysit the little champ, dates are possible.
It ain't about me. It ain't about the kid. Because the husband deserves my time. Because my marriage started off just me and the husband. Because having a healthy relationship will mean a healthy family relationship. It ought to deserve my attention. And gladfully, I did.
I gotta say many of us Singaporeans are foooodies... aren’t we? I’m pretty sure you agree with me on this! :D I have always thought big appetite and cravings were linked to pregnancy. As such, I was ready to welcome cravings with open arms! However, it was the exact opposite in the early stages. I experienced a drastic loss of appetite and it happened almost very sudden for me. I was eating normally like my usual self from Week 1-6 of pregnancy. At week 7, I noticed stomach discomfort, so I decided to monitor it for a week. As the days went by, my appetite and stomach discomfort worsened. I went to see a GP as I didn’t know I was pregnant. The doctor asked me for my last menstrual period but somehow she still prescribed me loads of gastric medicine! This was surely dangerous as some medications are clearly not safe to take during pregnancy. Looking back, I’m sure glad I followed my gut feeling not to take the medication prescribed, as I felt the discomfort wasn’t like normal gastric.
Instead, I consulted a friend who is a nurse. She advised me to use the pregnancy test kit to confirm if I was pregnant or not. Even though I was overjoyed with the news, that few weeks were one of the toughest for me!
I remembered how just the slight thought or smell of food would make me queasy. Just imagine this, you know the food taste good. You used to love it. But now, you don’t even want a single bite of it. You are just wishing the taste and craving would come back. You simply lost all your love for food. The people around me were not aware of such condition. Thus, they unknowingly kept encouraging me to eat (your baby needs to eat!) which only made me more miserable. I even had a nightmare once when I dreamt someone kept forcing me to eat, and I actually shouted out loud “I DON’T WANT TO EAT!!!’. I shouted so loud that I woke myself up and my husband, Mr J, was giggling at me. I didn’t know food could traumatise me so badly!
Although there isn’t any cure, there are some safe options recommended by my gynae that I’ve adopted to ease my discomfort. would like to share some tips that helped me:
If you know of anyone going through this, please be a kind soul and refrain from talking about food in front of them. (It’s not a joke!) They are already going through one of the toughest phase, especially if they’re a foodie like me. Instead, share these practical tips that will help them get through this period more comfortably:)
"I acted like it wasn't a big deal when really it was breaking my heart into a million pieces, over and over,” shared by a friend of mine, who really wanted a child but had personal constraints.
It's the end of the Chinese New Year celebration, a marvellous event. All had gathered in excitement, bonding over food, conversations, a festival where everyone's spirits lifted! On the flip side, certain "ice breakers" may be deemed insensitive and even taunting.
I've had the trust of some couples of various backgrounds, from ‘a spouse who does not want kid, whilst the other wants’, to as severe as, ‘affecting of one’s life expectancy’. They’ve shared their stories and concur, that to rid ignorance, awareness has to rise.
Hence, I can't hold back no more! Before you go hurling those questions at couples once more, hold your horses! Unless you are the chummy-gummy-bff with that couple, you may unintentionally intrude and say the wrong things, especially to childless couples. Let's practice some sensitivity and be aware that it is not our place to question them for 3 general reasons:
5 things never to say to couples without kids:
1. "When are you going to start a family?" : Seem only natural, the whole progression from "marriage to family" stage? Think again. You are invading one's privacy. Alike the general reasons covered above, factors for a couple's reason, may include:
Are you aware of how much stress or how much it hurts emotionally for a woman, whom is struggling just to conceive or keep a baby? If you were her, will you be ready to divulge such sensitive information to relatives or friends? Imagine going around asking about one's remuneration, how often one had sex, or how it feels to lose a baby? See how absurd it sounds? My point exactly.
2. “Just have a baby! Go with the flow!”: Don’t even start with this. Studies have shown how financial problems is one of the top reasons to kill a relationship and is a correlation to divorce. How distressing it is for a couple handling the massive change in lifestyle caring for a baby, hands full with diaper changing, feeding AND argue about finance! Unless you’re going to be their ATM, kindly refrain from using this phrase. Present times and stress are different from the past where policemen wore shorts. I know, one is never ready. But better to be 80% sure than 30%, right? It matters! Everyone leads and chooses a different lifestyle, if that’s their choice, why comment?
3. “You never really know love until you have kids. It makes you complete!” : Want your friends to think that you have a superiority complex? Sure, you'll like to share your joy and how complete you feel life is with a child but be cautious! Such statements said in a matter-of-fact manner, can be deemed as taunting them directly. Not having children may or may not be a choice. Everyone knows that becoming parents is a entirely different experience. However, alike point 1, it could have financial, emotional, or even medical constraints that are preventing them from having a baby.
Hard to let go without commenting something? Assume that the couple that has been married long enough, has gone over the thought of having or not having a child, and made their choices. Lastly, you are no love guru to describe what and how love should be.
4. “When are you going to have number 2?’ : Seriously? Aside from considerations of point 1, new parents are usually up to their necks dealing with the massive change in lifestyle. They juggle and adjust to what works for them, dealing with feedings and milestones, managing time, conjuring patience and energy AND here you are, asking for their complete rundown of their 5 year plan. And this I must emphasize once more, you never know how long or how much it takes for a woman to conceive so PLEASE, you should never ask about the planning of a baby, especially right after she just had one.
5. Don’t want to/can’t have a child? Get a pet!” : Worst of the worst. Are you implying that a pet can replace the 9 months of pregnancy, hours of labor pain, all the love and affection shared between the couple throughout this time, disruptive nights, sleep deprivation and breastfeeding? You THINK your intentions are good, have immense love for your pet and pets are great. I get it. However, to a childless couples (if they are unable to get pregnant), a pet is but a consolation prize.
Now that you know what not to say to couples, keep all of it in mind. In fact, take the opportunity to share and it'll go a long way to make family events much sweeter!
HeIlo there! Welcome to my very first snippet. Just to let you know a little bit more about myself, I have always been a family oriented person and very keen on starting a family of my own. I’d got married last year and my very first pumpkin will be born in 3 months time! Yes, I’m still letting reality sink in :D I am here to share my first time experience as a mom-to-be, some medical knowledge that I have learnt along the way and I really hope you gain more from this read. Please make a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy!
So I’m pretty sure everyone has seen pregnancy symptoms from tv dramas.. The scene ‘running to the toilet to puke/family members guessing one is preggy from the gag reflex’.. and so on. Little did I know it would hit me! Seriously, Morning? Zao shang? Where did the word morning come from!? That was what went on in my mind in the first trimester. The truth is, you can experience it anytime of the day and it can even last the whole day! Ain’t kidding... I don’t mean to scare anyone of you but it varies among individuals. For those of you who have not tasted a bit of it, lucky you!
For those of you who have, don’t worry, you are not alone. I wondered how I am going to last through this! My gynae even told me it might get worst and go on for another 8 weeks! Imagine that! I’d wanted to cry at that moment. To describe, it feels like a big spoonful of fatigue, extreme nausea and a bloated stomach all stirred together at one go. Which in turn,I believe, leads to mood swings. Yes, it’s not a wonderful feeling. I remembered when I was out and about, I would have multiple gag reflex in a day. I would not feel hungry, plus the thought of food would disgust me. The best option for me was to sleep it off.
However, I have to share a positive side to this. I’d found this piece of good news to be very encouraging when i was starting to get down and negative. Just when I was feeling my worst, a nurse said this to me, “Cheer up! Morning sickness means you are highly having a healthy pregnancy! There’s actually a scientific and positive link to increasing hormones which is due to the developing fetus and placenta. Good levels of hCG ensure that your pregnancy develops well.” I’m sure this piece of news encourage all of you, like it did for me!
If you are going through non-stop nausea and vomiting, and you’re not able to drink or eat anything, please inform your doctor! You need to be hydrated and closely monitored. Some moms-to-be can get morning sickness badly enough that they are unable to work or even find it tough to look after other children. It can affect your mood and strain relationships. Support, help and love from your family and friends can make going through the phase a lot easier. Most of all, there's one thing to remember, it will be all worth it, I promise. :)
I am the eldest of the three. I was an only child for 8 years before my sister was born, and to another sister a year after. They meant the world to me and I was very much hands-on in taking care of them, especially because my mom was a full-time working mom. I love being with children. I'd organize children's parties and even participated in the church children's ministry. As "equipped" as I was to handle children, being a mom was a whole new dimension. The moment I knew I was pregnant, something stirred in my heart. When she was born, my heart poured out love, strength, resilience and fears I never knew existed. It was the greatest thing that I was proud of, but at that point, it was also hard. The lists includes and is not limited to the following:
Being a person who was afraid to fail, and always looking to plan the next move, I felt that I was losing control. The 'should-have-happen' and 'I-should- know- this' had quickly dissolved into 'go with the flow or else you lose it'. In another words, I had to adapt quickly, let go and move on.
Fortunately, I could communicate with my supportive husband, sharing doubts and fears and he was responsive and helpful to reach out to respective professionals/ friends to learn more. My sisters were my cheerleaders, empathizing and encouraging me to move along. My best friend and neighbors were reaching out, providing me with positive advice and vibes. I was a strong woman, but with these people, they made me a strong mother. And because of that, I could provide a calmer and cheerful environment to my baby. Coupled with the exposure to mommies forums, circle of friends who were becoming/have become mothers and getting acquainted with professionals dealing with moms, one thing stands clear: moms need more support and encouragement. And to obtain that, people have to be aware. Without awareness, one is ignorant and as majority of the surrounding circle of family and friends conform to the expected behaviors and outcomes of a mom, the reality of how real moms are and the truth of families’ ups and downs, diminishes. Moreover, social media has encouraged and condoned a competitiveness amongst women, to prove who has it better, flaunting bodies and lifestyles when really, that rose- tinted glasses is merely the small % of society and quite frankly, that few minutes amongst many hours when moms really got it looking good.
Since when is life represented by only a bed of roses? As a result, some moms withdraw, communicate less and think the less of themselves. What's more, the atmosphere of celebrations and gatherings amongst families and friends are mostly filled with the oohs and ahhs of a baby, gifts and questions of how the baby is doing. Concerns, encouragement and gifts for the mom? Not really. Hence the question: Do we really need an occasion to show a mom kindness, encouragement and love? No! Open up your heart to one and you will see how much it will be received and appreciated! Share with a mom the awareness of self care and they will realize that it's not selfish to love themselves. This is especially for moms, where women ought to come together and not criticize or compete with each other. Slowly but surely, my passion to share the awareness and encourage a mom, fires up. This task is not impossible. Every little step leads the way to create a change. As the minute ticks, as the passions builds, Fierce-Hearted is born.
All 3 of us sisters will be sharing stories from our different perspectives. The good, the bad and the ugly, we're telling it as it is.